Art
#2 The path.
My path.
That was when I started seeing myself as a human, not as a function.
When I discovered my AuDHD my whole world changed.
All things suddenly fell into the place.
Missing link was found. I wasn’t broken, I was different.
The moment I got that knowledge I’ve thought everything will be easy and colourful. It was actually opposite - all emotions stored in the body for years found the release and that was very challenging.
Suddenly I’ve seen the patterns and loops I was trapped in.
I couldn’t afford professional support, as my actions got me into financial troubles, so I did all the work myself. I’m still doing it myself with help of my friends. (Super grateful for that 🙏🏽)
But that knowledge that I’m different and it’s not my character but neurology, took a lot of pressure from judging and punishing myself.
And that’s always first step to getting better - not adding more sparkly things, but building a clean foundation.
The road is harsh for me - especially when you feel everything X times more than normal people. Being polarised (I’m able to create whole business strategy, not able to execute it, I’m able to create things normal people can’t but I can’t keep up with everyday things like bills and cleaning, plus I’m money blind) it’s a biggest blessing and the biggest curse.
It’s funny how people tell me - you don’t have any condition or don’t focus on your condition, just live your life. Well… if I wouldn’t focus on that, I wouldn’t be able to move forward. I would be still trapped in loops my brain creates.
I’ve learned to put myself first and to communicate my needs. Still learning, because it’s not linear progress.
Often it looks like three steps forward, two steps back.
But that’s still one step towards better life. My life.
Have a great day. ✨
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